


love him

by vibrancy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dissociation, M/M, lapslock, reality distortion and stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:23:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vibrancy/pseuds/vibrancy
Summary: he's beautiful. he's beautiful when his face and voice are distorted, distant sounding, he's right in front of you but you can't see him clearly and that hurts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i. wrote this months and months ago and i havent edited it at all and im sorry but also here u go

you love him. that's something you know for certain. amongst days of confusion and time losing all meaning you know that you love him and maybe you don't know that he loves you too but that's something you can learn. 

 

you're never sure when you are or aren't dissociating, maybe everything is a figment of your imagination but that'd take so much effort and energy and you're lacking in both. 

 

he's beautiful. he's beautiful when his face and voice are distorted, distant sounding, he's right in front of you but you can't see him clearly and that hurts. why won't your eyes blink to clear away the fog. you want to reach out to him. reaching is not something you can do, not now, not when everything is so heavy yet light at the same time and you feel like you're going to float out of your body but you aren't sure if that's bad or not. 

 

not now, but later when the fog drifts away and the world feels more solid you can reach out and touch him. know he's there. you can feel him and his realness and that's enough. that's always enough. 

 

hajime was there for your first episode, when your eyes clouded over and your body started to slump for no reason and for some reason you couldn't get up but you also couldn't panic, like taking sleep inducing medicine except you're still there, awake, trapped in your brain and unable to move or talk or t h i n k. he sits by you the whole time. you have no clue how long it lasts, time doesn't exist to you in those moments, but he's there when you come back to yourself, slowly, moving a bit at a time, and soon you feel fine, but tired, exhausted, even though the entire time you were out you weren't moving. 

 

doing nothing causes exhaustion for you too now. 

 

you tell him you think you're a bit broken once, and he gets mad. says 'you shouldn't say that. you aren't broken. you're so strong' you want to tell him that if your own mind traps itself and you're unable to tell whats real then your mind is a bit broken, but that'd upset him and you never want that. 

 

instead you let him whisper reassurances you appreciate but aren't sure you need into your ear and you love him for it, even if sometimes he's wrong. 


End file.
